Ratbat's Crush
by DawnnsGrace
Summary: G1 - Ratbat, youngest of the 'Con cassettes, has hit puberty with all the confusion that comes with it.  And it certainly doesn't help that he's crushing on an Autobot.  Then things get worse, Rumble and Frenzy find out and decide to help. *Sticky*
1. Thought it Was a Glitch

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: I wasn't going to post it until I actually finished the entire thing in at least the first draft but I'm having a little trouble finishing the last three scenes so I need some reader reviews to help motivate me. Because we all know reviews are the lifeblood of all fan fiction writers.

Original Requests:

Found on the tf kink meme there were two of them.

Part 1 – Thought it was a Glitch

It started so slowly that at first he thought it was just his coolant systems glitching out of sheer boredom. Ratbat shuffled a bit from his hanging bar in front of the monitors to increase the flow of coolant through his systems and that seemed to help.

Shuffling though wouldn't help for long though if the glitch was caused by boredom. The youngest of the decepticon cassettes had been assigned to retaging all the spy footage gathered since landing on Earth. It was processor numbing drone work but it had to be done in order to bring the video archives up to Soundwave's demanding standards of efficiency.

The warming started up again but the shuffling didn't help. Ratbat gave an annoyed squeak but decided to focus on the monitor instead of whatever systems glitch was trying to distract him.

On the monitor; Steeljaw, Ramhorn, and Eject were wrestling in such a toned down manner it was a surprise they were even having fun. Bored, Ratbat sped the footage up. Something on the screen though had Ratbat's fuel pump leap and his cooling fans jump to life. Intrigued by the multi-systems glitch being triggered by the footage instead of boredom, he rewound the footage to find out what it was responding too.

Rewind was passing the pile of playing cassettes with a data pad so close to his faceplate it was a wonder he didn't run into anything yet. Eject stuck his head out of the pile and apparently had a short conversation with his brother before sneaking out of the pile to tackle the reading cassette.

A startled squeak escaped Ratbat but he couldn't tear his optics away from the scene. Rewind was on his front with Eject straddling his aft, hands pinning his brother's shoulders to the floor. Something was tickling the back of his meta that he should know what this feeling was but all the bat cassette could process was the way Eject was pinning his brother and the warm buzz spreading through his circuits. All too soon one of the cat cassettes tackled Eject and the pile of wrestling cassettes had one more player in the mix.

More intrigued by the systems glitch then alarmed, the young cassette abandoned his task and began combing the video archive for more footage of the autobot cassettes. He soon discovered that it wasn't just any of the cassettes that warmed his circuits, it had to be Eject, and the more physically active the autobot was in the footage the better it was for the bat to watch. That was until Ratbat found a video file of Eject curled up asleep holding a sleeping Steeljaw's tail. The young decepticon found it rather curious that there was more footage of the cat cassettes sleeping then any other autobot in the entire archive but he was more disappointed about the lack of anymore sleeping Eject footage.

Shuffling, this time in embarrassment, Ratbat realized he had just spent his entire shift drooling over Eject footage instead of cataloging the earth footage. Soundwave was going to be so disappointed in him. With a quick flutter, the young cassette took off towards the wash racks with a meta for a cold shower to dump the head he'd been collecting from the surprisingly pleasant systems glitch before trying to tackle the task on his off hours.

* * *

Soundwave hadn't been disappointed about his youngest's wandering meta or at least that was what Ratbat hoped. It was sometimes hard to judge his creator's reactions even when he had lived his entire life with the mech. In this case Soundwave had found his youngest once again in the archives room drooling over footage of Eject with little more work done on the re-cataloging then was done before. The boom box had made a droning sound before ordering Ratbat to do an energy survey of Europe. Someone else would finish the archives.

With his powerful sensors and small body type it was ridiculously easy to finish the latest energon scan of Europe without tipping off the autobots or teletran-1. The only difficult part was all the flying it took. Ratbat for all his specialized scanners and modifications was not built for speed. The little flyer was even, maybe, getting a little empty in the fuel tanks.

It was snack time.

Decision made his scanners switched to a localized scan for smaller deposits of energy, something that was unguarded with enough energon to fill the tank of a small decepticon without alerting any of the autobots. His scans quickly locked onto a hummer sitting in it's drive way. Hummers were expensive vehicles. Expensive vehicles meant expensive fuels.

With a happy chirp, Ratbat latched himself to the undercarriage where his scanners told him the fuel tank was hidden. With the glee of a human child ripping away the paper of a present, the bat tore through the protective sheets of metal protecting the undercarriage from penetration. When he finally reached the fuel tank he gave one more happy chirp before sinking his fangs in. The fuel was sweeter then he was used to and he enjoyed every minute of it.

There was only one flavor served on the Nemesis, poor and bitter. For most of the Decepticon Army that was all they could get. Ratbat, the energon surveyor, had so many sensors and converters leading to his fuel tanks that he could enjoy all of the many flavored fuels that Earth had to offer.

Then the engine started.

The young bat made a petulant sound, refusing to relinquish his prey just because some squishy decided they need to go right now, while he was suckling the sweet invigorating flavor of the hummer. Defiantly, he tightened his grip on the exposed undercarriage bringing his body flush against the vehicle so that he wouldn't be scraped off.

As the hummer pulled out of the driveway, Ratbat experience that systems glitch again. The vibrations from the moving vehicle made the warm feeling grow a lot faster then the videos did. Thinking of the videos and of the way Eject had tackled the other cassette, made the temperature soar and every one of his cooling fans kicked on to battle the sudden heat. Ratbat didn't care. He ground his body against the warming metal above him, imagining it was the autobot. Somehow the fuel he was still siphoning became sweeter and he sucked harder as he ground himself just a little more frantically.

He was getting closer, to something. He didn't know what it was, didn't care as long as those lovely, pleasurable feelings in his circuits kept building, kept pushing him closer to that something he couldn't describe. He imagined it was Eject, maybe the autobot had tackled him like he tackled his brother, maybe his circuits were all heated with the same feelings Ratbat was feeling, maybe Eject was approaching that same something Ratbat was approaching, grinding against him like Ratbat was grinding against...

The fantasy died when the engine did. That expensive, warm, vibrating hummer had run out of gas leaving the poor, overly hot, young bat clinging to the undercarriage very frustrated.

With a shrike that would've made any frontliner give pause, Ratbat launched himself from the dead hummer and flew in a pissy mood all the way to the Nemesis.

The human who had wisely or luckily stayed in his vehicle wasn't sure who he needed to call first; a tow truck, or his priest.


	2. Little Frustrated

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: I lost the first page. I hand write everything before I type it out. And now I've lost the first page to this. I mean yes it's already typed and uploaded but how can I put this fic to bed in the filing cabinet later when I'm missing the first page.

Chapter 2 – Little Frustrated – Time for a Cold Shower

Soundwave, who had sent his youngest cassette to do an unnecessary energon survey of Europe in order to give the cassette time to cool down was naturally surprised to feel how warm the bat felt in his tape deck as he downloaded the data. This distressed the normally stoic communications officer since any decepticon who cared to look would see the same and would probably take advantage of the virgin systems. The damage caused by the incompatible size would likely just increase the sadistic pleasure of the 'con in question.

Soundwave went through his options. He couldn't keep Ratbat in his tape deck, not with that heat. The TIC was required to remain on the command deck for the next solar cycle and the heat would eventually leak out, making it appear as if Soundwave's spark was pulsing, ready to split. That opened a whole set of scenarios no one wanted to get into.

He couldn't let Ratbat go out on another fake survey. There was the chance he would be spotted on the launch deck and taken. If the bat made if off the Nemesis he could be spotted by some Autobot who would of course "help" the young cassette with his problem. True there was less chance of physical damage but more of a chance of Ratbat becoming enamored with the Autobot leading to another set of scenarios his processor refused to look at. Or maybe Ratbat would avoid all Cybertronians only to get so frustrated that he self-interfaced where the humans could record. The recording would make it to both the Decepticons and Autobots and Soundwave's skills as a mentor for his cassettes would be brought into question.

If he commanded Ratbat to stay in their rooms...the only danger his processor came up with was the bat being discovered before he entered the safety of their suite. Once there, no one but the other cassettes would be able to bother him and while there was the chance some inappropriate gropping might occur, none of the cassettes knew how to interface so there was no chance of an accidental spark.

"Ratbat, eject. Data transfer complete. Return to suite until further notice." Soundwave ordered keeping the same tone he would have used any other solar cycle.

Cyber-puberty and an aborted overload however had stripped the young bat of his usual good temperament. The bat gave an indignant shriek at being ordered to his room like some sort of newspark. Every Decepticon present in the command deck turned to watch Soundwave, third in command of the Decepticon Armada, getting chewed out by his youngest creation. The bat was shrieking and hissing in a way that only the communications officer understood but which ever 'con understood the tone. Soundwave was actually rather embarrassed by the display but he didn't let the temper tantrum affect his decision.

"Ratbat desist. Orders: return to suite until notified." Soundwave repeated in the same monotone. Mentally he reinforced the command with a psychic shove.

Ratbat squeaked, realizing that he had been chewing out his creator. Then he remembered just why he had been hissing at Soundwave and left with an indignant squawk.

The communications officer ignored the curious and knowing looks the others gave him as he made his way to the monitor banks and silently watched his youngest make his way to their rooms. Once the bat was safe behind closed doors, Soundwave returned to his post with no little sense of relief. He reminded himself that all his other creations went through this same phase, all he needed to do was keep them ignorant and keep them away from anyone who might change that.

* * *

Ratbat squawked and shrieked at the uncaring purple walls of the Nemesis as he flitted about Soundwave's quarters. Energy still skittered across his circuits, fueling the anger that would have otherwise disappeared before it could ever build up to a tantrum. The energy and the anger wasn't the only thing racing through his circuits. Beneath it all was the warm feeling that had been there since the solar cycle had started. Instead of being comfortable, now it was simply frustrating, and frustration was making his temper flare higher.

When flapping didn't help he turned on the monitor and found himself running through every clip of Eject the Nemesis hard drive had to offer. It still wasn't enough. The warm feeling had turned into a smoldering heat but the anger still sat in his circuits turning the heat into something different. He wanted the heat, he wanted a fight, he wanted to grind his body into his opponent and do...do something.

Ratbat shrieked in frustration and confusion. He needed something. He needed to do something. He was contemplating destroying the monitor still showing loops of Eject when Rumble and Frenzy walked in.

"Whoa, what's with the ozone in here? Someone have an orgy without inviting us?" Rumble said as the door shut behind them.

Ratbat not willing to take anything from his creator, certainly wasn't going to take any teasing from his idiot brothers. He hissed at them and took to flapping again.

"Check out Ratbat," Frenzy said shoving his brother. "Looks like baby brother has his circuits in a know. What's the matter, don't have anyone willing to grind gears with?"

"Look at the monitor, he wants to grind gears with that autobrat. What's the matter batface, the 'cons aren't good looking enough for you. You'd rather swap paint with some soft sparked glitch." Rumbled teased.

Ratbat confused and angry, still wasn't willing to take any slag from his brothers. The bat launched himself at Rumble with every intention of ripping his brother to pieces.

"Ah, slag, get him off of me!" Normally Rumble wasn't one to back down from a tussle, but Ratbat had fangs and was currently making a spirited effort of sinking those fangs into his neck.

"I think the heat's fried his logic circuits." Frenzy hissed nearly getting his hands scorched by Ratbat's too hot armor.

"Well then get him into the wash racks." Rumble grumbled pushing Ratbat back being careful to avoid the snapping jaws.

"We're not going to try anything?"

"Frag that, he's thrashing and trying to rip my energon lines out, if you want to try and plug in be my guest." The twins continued to try and manhandle the bat into the wash rack without being bitten, or clawed, or otherwise damaged.

"Good point, well in that case, here comes the cold water." Frenzy switched on the cold water full blast.

Ratbat, who had been shrieking in rage, was now spluttering, trying to clear the near freezing water from his air intakes. Rumble and Frenzy quickly scampered out of the room and locked the door behind them.

"So are we going to try anything now?" Frenzy asked as they leaned against he door.

"Slag no, he's got fangs. I'd rather try to plug one of the bird brains. But there's no way we can just let the piece of scrap suffer either." Rumble starred at the monitor showing the loop of Eject, a plan forming in his processor.

R & R people, and thanks for reading... next part should be up thursday.


	3. World Cup

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: I still can't find that darn first page anywhere...grumble grumble. Okay, said I was going to update on Thursday and guess what I actually did. Enjoy reading. Guess what major sporting event was going on when I wrote the first draft.

Chapter 3 – World Cup

The World Cup was about to start.

Eject's chronometer woke him up at 2:30 am so he could watch the first game life. It was so exciting, forget any leagues, pit, forget the Olympics, the World Cup of Soccer was the best thing **ever**. And the best thing about it was that the Ark had satellite, which meant he could watch it live, half a world away.

Practically buzzing with excitement Eject began shaking Rewind because one of the best things about watching sports was watching them with someone else.

"Whatever you intend to propose, no." Rewind mumbled without onlining his optics.

"The World Cup of Soccer," Eject tried anyway.

"A resounding no," Rewind repeated.

Not deterred Eject went over to where Ramhorn and Steeljaw were sleeping in a huddle. All it took was one good shake and both cat bots were snapping at him.

"But the World Cup..." Ramhorn growled and Steeljaw took a swipe at him to show just how uninterested they were.

"Fine, be that way, sit on the bench. I'll go watch the World Cup myself." Eject told the room of nearly sleeping cassettes.

Determined not to let his brother's lack of enthusiasm dampen his own, he filled a small cassette sized cube of energon and plopped down in front of one of the monitors in a private viewing room. As much as he would love to share his love (obsession) of sports with his fellow crewmates, he didn't want to risk being booted out of the rec room during a critical moment of the game.

TV on, the pre-game on, announcers in over twelve languages filtering in from the background, he hadn't missed a thing. The cube of energon sat to his right from where he was sitting on the floor, not even bothering to get comfortable on the mech-sized furniture. With a quick check of his chronometer to see he had ten minutes before kick-of. The only thing that would make this perfect would be if everyone else had come to watch it with him.

::Eject,:: it was Blaster and by the tone, Eject was certain that his creator wasn't comming to say he'd be joining him.

::Yeah,:: he tried not to sound as sheepish as he felt.

::It's nearly three in the morning. Why is Red Alert comming to tell me about a Decepticon conspiracy involving one of my cassettes wandering the Ark with a cube of energon when he should be recharging.::

::Ah, because he doesn't know that the World Cup kicks off in ten minutes:: Eject offered already cataloging his arguments for why he should be allowed to stay up and watch it.

::Is this another obscure sports thing?::

::No way, soccer is the most popular sport on the whole planet.:: Eject explained fully prepared to explain the many merits of soccer and sports in general but apparently Blaster was expecting it.

::No need to sing it to me my little mech. I'll be a rockin' creator and let you watch it but ya gotta be back in your berth by the time I get of shift at eight and no harping about needing a quick recharge at anytime during the next solar cycle.::

::Deal!:: Eject said before quickly cutting off his comm.. The players were coming out on the field, each team carrying their nation's flag.

* * *

8:15, Blaster walked into his room with every intention of kicking the cassettes out and settling in for a few hours of recharge before he needed to supervise the cassettes while they did some maintenance. Double shifts weren't too common thanks to Prowl's anal retentive attention to details, but Blaster had requested Friday and Saturday off for a weekend battle of the bands playing in Portland.

When he looked at the berth, he only saw Steeljaw and Ramhorn. Perched on the desk with a data pad in front of him was Rewind. Blaster let out a disappointed sigh from his vents, a habit he had picked up from TV, and scanned the room once more just to make sure he hadn't missed his wayward cassette the first time around.

"Where's Eject?" Blaster tried not to sound too disappointed.

"I've not seen him since early, very early this morning, when he endeavored to have me watch a sports program with him." Rewind answered briefly looking up at his creator briefly before returning to his datapad.

Blaster tried his comm. first but didn't even receive a ping back. He wasn't worried. Eject would of ten turn off his comms. during "important" sporting events. Disappointed in his cassette and that he wouldn't be able to lie down just yet, Blaster headed to the private viewing room Red Alert had reported seeing Eject in the night before.

The cassette wasn't there. His empty cube was sitting abandoned on the floor but there was no sign of the cassette who drank it. Blaster tried his comm. again but still no answer.

::Rewind, wake up Ramhorn and Steeljaw. Tell them to hunt down Eject and drag him back to the room. I don't have the patience to play hide 'n seek.::

TBC

Hope you enjoyed, don't forget to review on your way out. Next chapter will be posted either Monday or Tuesday depending on when I find the time and will be long, for me. It will also include sex, which is why this cutesy story was posted in M in the first place so just warning you now.


	4. Oh

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: It's lost, lost forever, I don't know where the first page and instead of finishing the last two scenes every time I pick up the stack of papers that is this piece of writing I start looking for the first page that is gone forever. Okay that's a lie, I start writing after I search, now I've only got the last scene to write.

Chapter 4: Oh...as in "Oh that's how you do it" or "oh that's what you want" maybe even just an "oh boy."

Eject was not trying to avoid his creator in the hopes of avoiding punishment. In fact, he didn't even realize Blaster was trying to find him. Right now Eject was waking up after having been knocked out by something, or rather someones, as he heard Rumble and Frenzy chatting amongst themselves.

"Like taking energon treats from newsparks." Frenzy laughed, a wholly unpleasant titter. "Those autodorks haven't really updated their security since Cybertron."

"Sure, you got the energon. I got to keep the fraggin' glitch from making a comm. and have the whole fraggin' Ark raining down on our afts while you drank it all yourself." Rumble complained. The sensors in Eject's frame told him that he was being dragged somewhere by his legs. The constant knocks on his head from the floor paneling would certainly explain why he was having such a difficult time coming fully online.

"Ah, don't grumble, Rumble," Frenzy snickered at his own joke, ignoring the jostling he got from his brother. "I bet the autobrat still has his seal. Will that make it up to you?"

"Pit no, you've seen how bat shit crazy he's been since puberty struck. We hand him sloppy seconds and he'll eat us, no joke."

"What does any of that mean? Have you been watching the squishy programming without me?"

"Mute it numb nodes and help me get him into position. I think he's starting to wake up."

"Like it'll do him any good."

Eject's gyro-stabilizers protested the sudden reversal in position. Onlining his optics he found himself looking into the upside-down faces of Rumble and Frenzy.

"Whoa, time out, what kind of game are you two playing?" Eject said in surprise when he discovered that he was hanging with his head to the floor.

"Everything tight enough?" Frenzy asked his brother, ignoring the bewildered autobot cassette they were tying up.

"Just tight enough to squirm. This was a great idea." Rumble said doing something behind Eject's back.

"Why thank you." Frenzy was now setting something up almost directly across from the hanging victim.

"Don't even think of taking the credit for this one. It was my idea. You just wanted to 'face him yourself." Rumble's voice was fading as if he were moving away.

"Well it was my idea to hang him up like that. What type of bat love cave would this be if the victim wasn't hanging from the ceiling." Frenzy called quickly finishing his work and running out of sight, supposedly to catch up with Rumble.

"That's nothing. It was my idea to video..." Rumble's voice faded and Eject could only hear the mumble of Frenzy's response.

Alone, Eject took the time to look over his surroundings. Purple metal, so it was a given that he was on the Nemesis even if the presence of the decepticon twins hadn't screamed that he was neck deep in slag. The room itself looked cassette sized so they were probably in a maintenance shaft. Then there was the position he was tied in, upside-down, hanging from the ceiling with his feet anchored rather far apart and his forearms lashed together behind him.

Just what were those two planning?

* * *

Ratbat didn't know what was happening to him. One cycle he was just as he always was, then something would get his circuits heated and Soundwave would sent him to their quarters, more often with a tantrum then without.

Then there was Rumble and Frenzy. They'd been acting suspiciously and when they had dragged him out of their quarters and into the ventilation shaft, he had fully expected a vengeance prank. But he gave himself over to their whims anyway, following them through the twisting passages, and only half-listening to them explaining how they had infiltrated the Ark just to get him this great present. Through it all he was expecting pink paint, maybe a super adhesive from the crazy inventor's lab. What he wasn't expecting was Eject, hanging from the ceiling and looking as confused as Ratbat felt.

The youngest cassette gave an inquiring chirp looking between his brothers who wore identical devious grins. Their grins grew even wider as he repeated his chirp.

"Me and Frenzy here are awfully sorry about the way we've been treating ya lately."

"Primus only knows how hard it's been hitting puberty on this dirt ball."

"Without the benefit of the Cybertronian Network to teach you all about things like this." Rumble drew a static charged hand across the front of Ratbat's chest. The startled chirp turned into a purr of confused pleasure as the warm feeling leapt to life faster then any video file.

"Or this," Frenzy whispered into his elongated ears as he lightly stroked his own fingers across one wing determined not to be outdone.

"We figure you could use someone to take all that pent up frustration on." With both of them massaging his wings, Ratbat wasn't able to focus on anything but the growing heat and Eject hanging from the ceiling, watching them with bright optics.

"To ravage any way you choose."

"And after you're don't with that piece of scrap, we'll be happy to show you how it's really done." Frenzy moved his hand from the wing to grab his aft.

"Well go get him, make the Decepticons proud." Rumble said with an edge to his voice as he pulled one brother away and pushed the other towards the captive.

Ratbat nearly tripped, startled by the sudden loss of sensations, and still uncertain about what he wanted to do. He gave a curious chirp but by the time he turned around, the other cassettes were gone. Once more he was confused but now he had the item of his recent obsession within his grasp.

With a quick flutter of his wings, he flipped and grasped the hanging bar in front of Eject. So close now, the bat took a deep breath, allowing each particle to filter across each of his sensors. This was something the video files could never give him, and so was this.

Leaning forward, he nuzzled against Eject's neck, enjoying the heat of the foreign systems. He inched closer, so that his body was pressing against the Autobot's. Gingerly Ratbat reached out and tried to mimic the way his brother's had petted him. None of his hesitant movements compared to how quickly Eject's systems heated up when he switched from nuzzling his victim's neck, to taking an inquisitive lick around one of the main energon lines.

Letting out a pleased chirp that was nearly a purr, he ground his body into the bound Autobot and continued his inquisitive investigation.

TBC

Yeah, I know I promised you a "love" scene that happens next chapter. I was going to try and throw it all in the same chapter but the scene itself was the same length as two chapters so I split it. This looks like a good place to stop.

See ya all again on Thursday, don't forget to review.


	5. Duh Love Scene

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: I know I said I'd update Thursday but apparently I had to do everything (school, gym, bloodsource, full shift at work) on Thursday so instead, here's an update on Friday. But like I said before, it's a long scene.

Chapter 5: Duh Love Scene

Eject probably knew more about what was happening then Ratbat, or at least that was what he thought. In truth he knew a ridiculous amount more than the Decepticon cassette. Long before they had ever come to Earth, Blaster had given his cassettes the "Talk," and while Eject didn't have any practical experience, he did have some reference for what was happening. That reference told him that this was the foreplay, meant to prime his interface components for the main act, and boy was he primed.

Eject moaned when Ratbat managed to wrap his tongue completely around one of his main energon lines and moved up and down slowly. As soon as the autobot had figured out what was happening during the groping between the 'con cassettes, he'd been expecting pain. He'd been expecting to be ravaged and shoved aside like Rumble had suggested. He had not been expecting quite this much warm-up, too much warm-up in his opinion. It was time to take the field and start the game.

"Hey, are you ouch," Eject yelped trying to move back but unable to do much more then squirm against the bonds that held him. Ratbat just bit him, on the energon line he'd been suckling. Sure the sports fanatic had been expecting something of the sort at the beginning but he certainly hadn't been expecting it after all the gentle foreplay.

Ratbat gave an apologetic croon and licked away the bead of energon to make it all better and boy did it. His engine revved as his sensors abruptly switched from pain to pleasure. Maybe a little more foreplay wasn't such a bad idea after all.

His tormentor finally moved from his neck to his mouth and Eject was thrilled to finally be able to do something. The sports fanatic kissed with as much enthusiasm as he could, eagerly allowing his glossa to be twisted around that of the bat's extra long glossa. To make up for the lack of mobility from his mouth, he ground his body against that of the smaller bat, trying to build up the static charge.

That was until Ratbat pulled back from the kiss and the grinding body. Eject was expecting to have his cod piece removed and so was a little confused and more then a little frustrated when nothing else happened.

"Hey what gives, nobody called a time out." Eject whined as he tried to swing his body towards the just out of reach warm body.

The bat, for his part, let out a frustrated squawk and flapped his wings. The autobot had no idea what he was trying to say and made a futile wish that all those advanced sensors and chemical analyzers left enough room for a standard vocalizer. How did the 'cons communicate with the bat? Sure Soundwave was slagging psychic but didn't anyone else just want to chat with him?

"I don't know what you're trying to say, but if you're worried I don't consent, I do. I do consent and if you want to be pitcher I still completely consent if you'll just get back over here and finish what you started." Eject managed to ramble somewhat coherently, as his vents shuddered to try and keep up with the waste heat.

Ratbat gave an awkward, negative cheap, so that wasn't the problem. The buildup of heat seemed to have destroyed Eject's ability to process because it wasn't until his core temperature dropped a few degrees that he was able to come up with another reason for the delay of game.

"If you can't get it up, I can give you a hand job. I might not be very good at it because I've only ever done it to myself, but oh, I have a better idea. I can be pitcher and you can be catcher. I'm basically primed to play either position since you're so good at foreplay."

Either the flattery was a bit much or the whole blurb was over the bat's head because he didn't even chirp. He just gave the Autobot a blank look, as if Eject had been speaking another language entirely. The sports fanatic wasn't a stranger to the blank opticed stare, especially when he used sport's metaphors but Blaster had assured him that his pitcher-catcher metaphor was perfectly understandable. Ratbat was looking at him as if he didn't understand any of it. It took his core dropping another two degrees before the full implication of the thought settled in.

"You don't know what you're doing!" Eject blurted out before he could think to modify the statement into something less embarrassing.

Ratbat did a very un-decepticon thing. He gave an embarrassed chirp and hid his face with his wings. Eject though was excited. If this was his first time and Ratbat's first time then it was okay that he didn't have any experience or that all his knowledge was based on Blaster's talk and a few personal experiments. From the way Ratbat was acting, it seemed as if he didn't even have that much.

"Untie me," Ratbat gave a snort and uncovered his face enough to glare at the Autobot. It took a moment for Eject to figure out what he'd done to earn that look. "Oh don't worry about that, I'm not trying to escape. I'm so warmed up right now, the only thing I'm thinking about is going for a home run. If you untie me, I can show you how to really play this game."

The decepticon gave him a dubious look but since he didn't know what else to do and he really needed to get rid of the heat that was frustrating his circuits, the decepticon had no other choice. Too frustrated to figure out how his brothers had tied up his present, the bat simply bit through the straps until gravity took over and dropped the Autobot to the floor.

Eject grunted when he landed on his shoulders and ended up sprawled across the floor. Worse still was that Ratbat gave him no time to recover. The bat fell from the ceiling far too carefully, and landed sitting on the Autobot's thighs. Eject pulled the Decepticon down taking the opportunity to explore his lover's chassi now that his hands were untied. Soon they both started heating up again as they stroked, groped, licked, nipped, and whatever else came to their processors as they tried to discover just what noises their partner could make.

"Alright, I'm all warmed up. Let's play ball, you want to be pitcher or catcher?" Eject said in a breathless moan. Ratbat either didn't hear or didn't care because he didn't stop exploring the chassi beneath him with his glossa and sensors. Eject didn't let that distract him though, much. "Well if you don't care I want to be pitcher."

It wasn't hard to switch positions since Ratbat was distracted and Eject had plenty of experience when it came to wrestling moves. The bat gave a curious chirp and cocked his head to the side. It was so cute that Eject did his best to kiss the decepticon senseless while he fumbled around for the latches on his partners cod piece. This would be so much easier if Ratbat was a standard mech design. Then again, that might remind him of his brother and unlike Rumble and Frenzy, he had no desire to get that close to Rewind.

Ratbat gave a curious chirp making Eject realize he had stopped everything. How in the name of Primus could he get that distracted? This was interfacing, something he'd been curious about for what seemed like ages.

"Sorry 'bout that," he mumbled an apology into the bat's neck. This time he found the catches in the first go. He of course knew where his were off the top of his sub processor and with that done Eject had to sort through his heat hazed processor to remember what to do next. It had something to do with preventing damage and he certainly didn't want to damage the decepticon under him.

"Check to make sure there's enough lubricant." The sports fanatic felt like such an idiot when he finally remembered. He had been the one to ask Blaster for the play-by-play.

This time he had too look. Sure he knew what his game field looked like but if the bat had his clasps in different places, maybe he had...nope, everything was in the same place. There was the nub that would extend into the spike if he so much as bumped it right now, and the port that was leaking something. That was when Eject realized that Blaster hadn't told him how much lubricant was enough to prevent damage. For a wild moment he tried to come up with a way to call time out so he could comm. his creator and ask more specific questions.

Ratbat wasn't interested in waiting and he certainly wasn't interested in giving his partner time to think. His basic programming was telling him to do something with the newly exposed circuits. He pulled Eject down, kissing the top of the still distracted helm and ground his pelvic region into the mech above him.

"Slag." Eject cursed breathlessly as all thoughts of his creator fled. Without meaning to his spike extended brushing against Ratbat's port. The bat gave up his assault with a pleased mewl reminding the sports fan of how he could stimulate more lubricant production. Gingerly avoiding the nub of the spike, his fingers found the rim of the port and began to clumsily trace the rim. Ratbat didn't mind the clumsy attempt. At the first touch of the foreign servo he was writhing into the touch.

"Primus I hope that's enough." Eject all but groaned as the bat's writhing had him brushing against his extended cord in a way that called up all the basic programming he had on interfacing. He needed to plug in now.

Lining up his spike seemed the most natural act in the universe. Slowly pushing into the burning tight port did not, it felt like the matrix. Tactile sensors along his spike were screaming at him in pleasure and by the time he managed to hilt himself, he could already feel the first bits of spark energy discharging. The decepticon wasn't nearly as patient and began squirming with a chirp of sheer frustration.

Eject groaned at the sensation, unable to find the processing power to tell him to stop because he was going to lose it. Instead he put both hands on Ratbat's hips to still the maddening movement and began to pull out only a little faster then he had pushed in. The bat made a sound closer to a moan and Eject echoed him. His systems were racing like he was playing tag with an enthusiastic dinobot and he was barely moving.

The Autobot tried his best to make it last, he really did, but just the tightness around his spike and how was anyone expected to move when it felt this slagging good just sitting inside. It was in the third stroke, just as he was pushing in, that Ratbat found a way to move. The valve clenched around his spike and Eject didn't even see the commands dart through his processor initiating the release of spark energy.

Sated and exhausted, the sports fan barely had enough processor space to rest on his elbows instead of crushing the smaller form beneath him. Vents were fully opened, fans were working at full power, and quick metallic pings echoed around the room as his armor cooled.

Beneath him the young decepticon was not happy. Ratbat chirped and squirmed trying to renew that pleasant feeling but after discharging the spike had returned to its housing. Once more frustrated with being just out of reach of that something, he hissed in his most threatening manner, demanding his partner to continue.

"I'm sorry," Eject paused as his vents tried to play catch up. "I'm sorry, I know you didn't overload, but if you give me a cycle maybe I can release my spike again."

Ratbat's answer was a resounding no, or at least that's what Eject took the hiss to mean. Once more the sports fanatic's gyro stabilizers protested as he suddenly found himself on his back with a very anger, very frustrated decepticon looming over him.

"Or we could switch positions. Whatever works for you but um, do you know what you're doing?" Now the Autobot was nervous. This time he would be on the receiving end and Blaster had stressed how easy it was to injure the catcher. Sure, he had produced a good bit of lubricant himself when they'd started but then his system's priorities had switched to his spike leaving his valve to dry up.

Seeing the bat's spike pressurize without any stimulation certainly wasn't helping his sudden bout of nervousness. Ratbat rammed in, forcing a yelp from Eject before pulling out nearly all the way and doing it again. The sharp pains of the thrusts were distracting enough at first that the autobot didn't notice that Ratbat wasn't getting in all the way until the fourth thrust. As much as he didn't like this new position, Eject did feel he owed the frustrated bat an overload and the pain wasn't that bad. In fact the pain was fading but poor Ratbat still wasn't getting in all the way. It had to be his legs, why hadn't he had the same problem? Oh yeah, Ratbat didn't have legs.

Eject stopped Ratbat's pounding by putting his hands on his shoulders while the bat was mostly out. The young bat gave a squawk of protest but didn't try to fight it, giving Eject the opportunity to wrap his legs around what waist the bat had. Ratbat still didn't move. Eject squirmed to indicate he should continue still unwilling to test his processor by seeing if he had room to process a coherent sentence.

This time went slower, still with a lot more force then Eject had used but now that the decepticon was going in all the way, the Autobot didn't really mind. A second overload was building for Eject making his engine rev ever higher and with Ratbat's even, forceful thrusts he was even willing to admit that Ratbat was the better player in this sport.

That was until the bat's pace stuttered before hilting himself once more and letting his spark energy flow. It felt amazing, the charge running across each sensor, firing up his circuits until it burned out and...it wasn't enough. Eject stood on the edge of his second overload with nothing to push him over. His spike wouldn't pressurize and his motor control was basically cut as his systems alerts blared at him about the damaging amount of heat he was carrying and Ratbat's overly warm frame draped over him certainly wasn't helping. Was the bat going into recharge? He couldn't do that? Ratbat need to finish him off first and no wonder the decepticon had been so pissed off when Eject had left him on the edge.

"Hey Ratbat, batty, fangs, this isn't time yet. I'm sitting on the edge of a touchdown and you've got to push me over. We can't sit at tied, this isn't hockey, this is interfacing. The best sport Cybertron has to offer and..." Eject was cut off by a gag in his mouth. He didn't even know where the gag came from but the frustrated, drowsy glare he got from Ratbat told him who'd done it. He was just about to remove it since the decepticon hadn't secured it when the bat lowered his head.

Oh slag, was the only thought he could process as he moaned around the gag. He couldn't even think to finish taking the gag out. Not when Ratbat had his tongue there. As delightful as it had been against the components in his neck, across the rim of his valve and then in it. Another moan escaped from around the gag as Ratbat swirled across the walls. The bat gave a content chirp when Eject put his hands on the Decepticon's helm trying to somehow get him in deeper.

The charge built as Ratbat tasted every part of his valve showing off his decepticon heritage by avoiding the parts that really made his squirm and swirling around them in his search of other sensitive spots to avoid. Eject was certain he'd be begging if he didn't have the gag in but he couldn't think to take it out.

Then the bat finished his exploration, sitting back to watch the autobot squirm and beg with his eyes. Ratbat saved a photo of the look feeling his crush on the Autobot morph into something more. He wasn't so cruel as to keep his new lover on the edge for long though.

Leaning down, he nipped at the edge of the port before viciously attacking each of the sensor nodes he had previously mapped out. Spark energy danced across his ever receptive tongue when Eject finally went over.

With his captive satisfied and quiet and his own circuits buzzing pleasantly, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to curl up on top of his captive and settle in for recharge. Of course his captive didn't think so.

"That was better then sports. We should..." After finally removing the gag so he could talk, Eject now had a hand over his mouth. Now was not the time for talking in Ratbat's mind. Now was the time for cuddling and resting.

TBC on Monday or Tuesday.


	6. Breaking Soundwave

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: Sometimes you just don't have anything to more to say then enjoy.

Chapter 6 – Breaking Soundwave

Lounging in his throne on the command deck, Megatron was desperately trying to come up with his next greatest plan. Unfortunately the humans had stopped broadcasting their latest discoveries forcing him to actually research before he sent out his army.

So when Soundwave announced an incoming transmission from the Autobot base, he approved it almost eagerly.

"Optimus Prime, to what do I owe this unpleasant disturbance?" Megatron asked smoothly, wondering what had made the Autobot Commander look so angry. Certainly nothing he'd done. Maybe one of his soldiers had taken pop shots at school or something while on patrol. It would certainly explain the call, maybe they could have a skirmish over it.

"Where is Eject?" The name didn't even sound familiar to the warlord. Soundwave, as efficient as ever, already had a brief intelligence report on the monitor below the murderous glare of the Prime.

"Loosing your soldiers Prime. That's hardly the way to run an army. I would think after all this time you would know that." Megatron taunted but really he was just trying to read the microprint on the monitor. Honestly, how was he expected to come up with proper banter if he couldn't read the file about the soldier they were discussing.

"Where is he Megatron?" Optimus repeated with more force as if that was all that was necessary to get the Decepticon leader to give him a straight answer.

"No idea," Megatron said it flippantly as he enjoyed the way Optimus clearly didn't believe him. He might even have said as much if he wasn't pushed of the screen by a smaller, frantic mech.

"Give me back my cassette you sorry excuse of a scrap pile." Blaster demanded, giving the warlord more information regarding the missing soldier then the microprint file.

"A cassette you say, he wouldn't happen to have been somewhere he shouldn't have. Such a small mech could easily be mistaken as a toy by some of my soldiers and so few of them have respect for someone else's toys." It was a plausible explanation to the warlord and what Decepticon would hand a broken spy to their leader?

"He wasn't on a mission, Rumble and Frenzy broke into the Ark and kidnapped him. I don't know what sick plan you've got this time but I demand you give me Eject back NOW!"

"Soundwave, perhaps you can explain to me why your cassettes were away from base without authorization." Megatron tilted his head so he could watch his TIC while still keeping his optics on the Autobots.

He was starting to regret even answering the communication. It would've been better to allow Soundwave to handle it; he would have received a full report, the Decepticon cassettes would've been dealt with, what remained of the Autobot cassette would likely have been ransomed for some energon, and the warlord wouldn't have made a fool of himself in front of his arch enemies.

Then Megatron's irritation left when Soundwave, instead of responding to him, started making an electronic drone. That certainly wasn't a sound he wanted to hear from one of the few competent soldiers he had. Megatron tried to flip off the monitor as he turned in his throne to look at Soundwave who was still making the droning sound but was now leaving the command deck without permission.

Uncertain whether he should punish his TIC or not, he turned back to find the Autobots still on the screen, glaring at him. He'd managed to turn off he lower monitor with it's pit slag microprint. Megatron growled pressing the correct button, deciding that it didn't matter whether Soundwave deserved to be punished or not.

* * *

Gathered in the quarters of their creator, the Decepticon cassettes (excluding Ratbat) gathered around the large monitor for a family movie night. The twins lay on the floor occasionally exchanging shoves for no other reason then that they could. Ravage sprawled across the berth, impossibly taking up most of it in the fashion only felines could. On a roosting perch stationed over the berth was Laserbeak and Buzzsaw with all their avian focus on the screen

Playing on the monitor was something decidedly not family friendly though. For tonight's viewing pleasure, the twins had provided a recording of Ratbat and Eject doing the deed not even a cycle after it had been done. They had set up the love cave after all and what kind of spies and big brothers would they be if they didn't record what had the potential to become the best piece of blackmail against their youngest brother ever.

"Guess we should've told the flying slag how to do it first." Rumble laughed as on screen Eject was trying desperately to find out why Ratbat had stopped.

"Tell, nah, I think we should've given him a demonstration." Frenzy replied, ever the horny little bastard in private.

"And what exactly did you want to demonstrate?" Rumble moved closer as his systems heated at the sound of renewed moans from the monitor.

"Oh, everything though it looks like he figure out how to eat a valve pretty good on his own."

"You watched the live feed, you fragger!" Rumble accused though in truth so did he, but this way gave him an excuse to tackle his brother and try to get the upper hand and dominant position.

This was the scene that Soundwave walked in on. Rumble and Frenzy groping for dominance, Ravage grinding on the berth he slept in, and the condors doing more then some friendly grooming. Worse though was his youngest and the missing Autobot, moaning and grinding on the screen like two credit Kaon whores.

It was too much for Soundwave to process. With a sound not unlike a tripping power breaker, the communications officer's optics snapped off and he fell backwards, as strutless as if he had taken a direct shot to the laser core.

"Slag," Rumble cursed jumping off Frenzy to grab and hide the porn in his subspace. The condors leapt from their perch and out the open door to find help. Ravage leapt to his creator trying to find out what had caused the collapse. Frenzy activated his comm., knowing that their creator had been scheduled on the command deck at this time and should still be their.

"Megatron, sir, Soundwave just came in and collapsed." Frenzy explained frantically.

"You and Rumble are to report to the command deck immediately." Was Megatron's brief reply before he cut the link. Frenzy looked over to Rumble who had heard their commander as well. Both knew just what they were being called up for but they still prayed to Primus that they were wrong.

TBC

A/N: So yeah, Soundwave didn't take the news very well. Also warning you there are only two more chapters left.

**Author holds out tin cup with the words "REVIEW" written on it**


	7. Almost Over

Ratbat's Crush

Chapter 7: Almost Over

Megatron was very irritated.

His troops were kidnapping enemy troops without orders. His TIC was apparently developing a system's glitch. Worse still were the three Autobots glaring at him from the monitor that he apparently couldn't shut off. Prime looked angry. The creator, Blaster looked like he wanted to reach through the screen and dismantle the tyrant with his bare hands. The Autobot second looked faintly disapproving and nothing more. Slag, he couldn't even gloat properly because he didn't have Eject, didn't know where he was, or even why the cassette had been taken in the first place.

The only decent thing about this entire situation was that Starscream was in the brig and had nothing to do with it. Pit, the only reason the Autobot Third in Command wasn't on screen was because he was probably off prepping the tower brat to come get the cassette.

And in stumbles Frenzy and Rumble, who had better have a good explanation for their behavior or they would find themselves the latest addition to the scrap heap. The cassette twins bowed to their leader, correctly interpreting his mood to stay groveling until Megatron motioned for them to stand.

"Empty your subspaces." Megatron ordered.

Before the twins could do little more then glance at each other, the tyrant pressed a button on his throne dispersing their subspace fields for them. As spies, the cassettes never kept much in their subspaces since they needed to empty them for each mission. Naturally the only thing that popped out this time was the data disk they had just been viewing. With casual ease, the tyrant reached down and picked up the disk, making sure to display it for those watching.

"And what do we have here?" Megatron plugged the data disk into the slot on his throne.

"Porn," the twins answered in unison. Someone in the background snorted but the tyrant kept his focus on the cassettes.

"A likely story. If you don't answer my questions correctly, I'll show your little recording to everyone." Pause for dramatic effect and of course to give the twins a chance to see just who was in the audience. "Now where is the Autobot cassette named Eject?"

"We don't know."

"We didn't do anything."

"The Autobots have proof that you were involved."

"They're lying."

"Last chance," Megatron waited a moment with his hand over the button. When the twins made no move to answer he pressed play. Then he pressed stop but not quick enough to stop the breathless moan from playing across the command deck.

"That was porn." The tyrant said needlessly, wondering if Soundwave knew his creations were running around with this...material in their subspace.

"Press play again," everyone on the command deck of the Nemesis and those on the Ark looked at Prowl as if he'd lost his chips. Prowl though didn't even shutter an optic at the sudden attention. "I believe it showed Eject partnering with Ratbat."

With a will of it's own, Megatron's servo pressed play again. Knowing who was on the screen certainly didn't make it any easier to watch, especially when the Autobot swapped positions with the bat declaring for all to hear that he wanted to be pitcher. His servo was a little slower then he would have liked pressing the stop button once he had confirmed just who was on screen.

Slowly he turned to the cassette twins who had the decency this time to look guilty.

"Where are they?" Megatron asked wishing the Autobots weren't so slaggin' quiet. Where was Prime's moralistic speech when the slag maker actually needed time to think?

"Between E and D." Rumble answered.

"They were just napping last time we looked but they might be doing it again." Frenzy added trying to be helpful and failing epicly.

"Go, get them. Bring the Autobot to the flight deck, I'll deal with your punishment after this situation is dealt with." Megatron ordered.

"What are you planning Megatron?" Optimus asked because it looked as if the footage had blown something in Blaster's processor.

"I'm in a benevolent mood Prime," Megatron paused for dramatic effect as he withdrew the data disk and held it between two fingers as if it were something vile, and truly it was. "I will return your autobot in whatever condition he happens to be in, on the condition that we never discuss this again."

"I agree."

"Good," the data disk snapped into pieces and finally Megatron was able to shut off the connection with the Ark.

* * *

Blaster was a mess of mixed emotions.

On the one hand he was relieved that his creation would be returned to him soon, one of the Decepticon flyers was mere moments away. Then of course he was worried about what condition Eject was in which was why Ratchet was there though from the brief glimpse of the footage it didn't look like he had much reason to worry. Of course the thought of the footage was in itself a mix of amusement, embarrassment, and maybe a bit of pride knowing his creation handled the situation. Then again the possibility of the footage ever being destroyed for good was impossible knowing the Decepticon cassettes had been the ones to record it in the first place.

A black jet appeared on the horizon and was slowing down for a landing. The rest of the Autobot party shifted uneasily trying to spot other decepticon flyers that just weren't there. Apparently when Megatron didn't want to talk about the situation anymore, he wasn't willing to put the thought of an ambush over it either.

Skywarp transformed before landing in front of the Autobot party looking like he'd rather be anywhere else at the moment.

"Do you have Eject?" Optimus Prime asked taking a step forward from the rest of the party.

"Yeah, in my cockpit." The jet answered and slowly opened the cockpit. It didn't stop the ball of cassettes from tumbling out though.

"Eject!" Blaster was surprised. Sure he'd hoped his cassette had had a good first time despite who he'd had it with but seeing him still entwined with the Decepticon was not good.

"Blaster, oh uh, we're there already?" Eject jumped up accidentally throwing Ratbat off who squeaked in surprise. "Oh sorry 'bout that Ratbat."

"Yeah, sweet, like sugar in a gas tank. Go over there already." Skywarp said reaching down to pick up Ratbat. He was tempted to punt the Autobot cassette over to his side but he had a bit more survival instinct then that.

"Are you alright?" Blaster asked as Eject stumbled over to his creator.

"I'm good, in fact I'm better then good, I'm great! I mean, you said interfacing was fun but you never said it was that fun! It was better then scoring a grand slam in the World Series, better then getting a hole in one on the final green of the World Golf Championship, better then intercepting the ball and running for a touchdown in the Super Bowl. It was better then sports!"

A few autobots tried to cover up their laughter as Blaster reached down and picked up his overly excited creation. The boom box cringed when he looked over the cassette. He was covered in dents and paint transfers, something quite common after a vigorous interface, things that Blaster was expecting. What he wasn't expected was the scabbed over energon lines along his neck and the dried fluid on the cassettes thighs that was usually washed off before going into public. Eject looked like slag but at least he looked happy about it.

"That's...nice." Blaster said debating whether he would rather put the dirty cassette in his clean tape deck or try hiding him in his hands.

"Whelp, we'll be going now, Starscream's been volunteered to give the cassettes the nuts and bolts talk and I've gotta get a recording of it. Oh and TC told me to tell you that you'll want to check him out since it didn't look like they used any grounders." Skywarp said as he tried to stuff the struggling Ratbat into his cockpit and close it.

"Oh yeah, I knew I forgot something." Eject said finally looking sheepish.

"What's your problem you little glitch, we have to get back to base and watch Screamer make a fool of himself...What do you mean you never exchanged comm. numbers? You were fragging each other for most of the solar cycle... Too late now." Skywarp said finally managing to close the door on the bat before taking off.

"So how's everybody doing?" Eject said nervously from the mixed looks he was getting from the rest of the Autobots. Some looked like they were about to burst from keeping their laughter in. Others looked mortified.

"Alright you glitch, let's get you checked out." Ratchet said plucking the cassette from his creator's hand and walking back to the Ark.

ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO

And it'll be posted on Monday, maybe sooner. Loved it, hated it, thought I should've added something else to it, or made a glaringly obvious grammatical mistake that I need to fix in paragraph whatever.

Review and tell me.


	8. The Final Score

Ratbat's Crush

A/N: I'd like to say I have an excuse for not posting this more quickly but, I don't. I was lazy and once you've put it off one week it's really easy to keep putting it off.

Chapter 8: The Final Score

"Graduated top of my class from the Science Academy, second-in-command of the Decepticon Armada, aerial commander, and what have I been reduced too? Telling a bunch of newsparks what their interface equipment is for because their creator is such a blushing fraggin' virgin he decided to have them all split spark without needing to dirty up his Primus damned equipment. Wasting my scientific ability on this mission is just further proof of Megatron's incompetent use of resources." Starscream grumbled to himself as he set up the materials he would need to teach the class. Just because he didn't approve of himself being used to teach the cassettes, didn't mean that they shouldn't be taught. Primus defend them there was enough ignorance in the Decpeticon army as it was.

"Frag it all, 'Screamer's teachin' this class?" Rumble cursed as he and the rest of his co-creations were herded into the small conference room minus Ratbat.

"Where's the scraplet who started this mess?" Starscream asked the constructicons who had escorted the small spies.

"He caught a ride with Skywarp to the drop off. Don't blow a gasket over it though, Hook says he'll take care of it when he's doing his exam." Scrapper explained shutting the door as soon as the condors had flown in.

"Wonderful," Starscream sneered at the door before turning to the group of cassettes who looked as thrilled to be here as he was. "Well let's not waste any more of our time, tell me what you know and I'll tell you what you don't. Then we can all get on with out lives."

Ten Minutes Later...

"No, no, no, no, no the time you snuck some high grade and did it kitty style that one time with Ravage." Rumble laughed pointing to his brother. The bird bots might have been laughing or choking on their regurgitated energon. Starscream knew he was about ready to purge his tanks as the twins continued to escalate their grossest interface stories.

"Oh sure laugh it up bird sub-processors, I can't even count how many times you've done it on the command deck with every mech there." Frenzy snapped. Ravage was apparently immune to any accusations of gross interface stories because he just inspected his wax job.

"What!" Starscream squawked, horrified at both knowing and not knowing.

"Yeah, everytime you see one of them land on top of the other one, they're doing it. Fraggin' exhibitionists, they get off on havin' everyone right there and not know what they're doing." Frenzy answered sounding more jealous then disapproving.

Ever so helpful, Starscream's processor called up one such command meeting where after playing their footage Buzzsaw had landed on top of Lazerbeak. The jet had thought they were just playing when in actuality they had been...in front of the command staff!

"Play some of the footage of Skyfire waking off maybe that'll snap him out of it." Rumble was saying as Starscream's processor tried to reset in light of this new, disturbing information.

"I don't like the Skyfire clips, they always give me nightmares of getting sucked up by his port. How about the aerialbot orgies? They're fliers too." Frenzy tried.

"They're practically newsparks compared to him. Just play the one of Skyfire wacking off, at least we know he's tapped than." Rumble answered not realizing that Starscream had snapped back to reality and was glowering over him.

"What do you mean you have clips of Skyfire..." The Aerial commander couldn't even finish the question. The idea that they had footage of the shuttle in a private moment was infuriating and more then a little disturbing. Who else did they have footage of?

"Name an Autobot on Earth. Between the five of us, we've got them doing something."

"Or someone..."

"Alright, I get it. You're all perverts, voyeurs, exhibitionists, and all around creeps. Do any of you know what a grounder is used for and how to properly install it?"

* * *

Eject was exhausted and it was testament to that exhaustion that he would rather crash out then even look at the scores of the World Cup. Of course when his family had heard that, Blaster had nearly sent him back to the medbay.

But can yah blame a mech?

He'd started his day early to watch the World Cup live. In hindsight that wasn't such a good idea as it made it ridiculously easy for Rumble and Frenzy to get the drop on him while he was alone in the private viewing room. Then he'd been knocked out the whole way to the Nemesis (and how exactly had the two of them managed that?) till he'd been strapped upside down in the Love Cave. No rest there and then he'd discovered the one thing that was better then sports.

His systems tried to kick up a notch at the memories.

Eject hadn't even had time to enjoy the flight back home because Ratbat had given the black seeker the turbopuppy eyes. Ratchet had been in a ridiculously good mood as he'd given the cassette a thorough exam. The medic did warn him though that if he ever came back with love bites like that again, he'd be in a less pleasant mood.

After he'd been given a clean bill of health it was time for the debriefing which was apparently a big deal because all the officers were there. When Optimus had asked him to explain what had happened, Eject figured he'd make it easy and just give them the play-by-play. Apparently that wasn't such a good idea because both Red Alert and Prowl had glitched. He could understand why Red Alert did, who couldn't see the security risk of enemy spies waltzing in and waltzing out with a prisoner, but why Prowl? Ratbat had had a crush on him and his brothers had captured him as a gift. Seemed pretty logical to him, after all he was a dashing mech if he did say so himself. Jazz had been no help at all; he might've muted his vocalizer but he was obviously either rolling on the floor with laughter or having a seizure. Optimus and Ironhide had acted normal but Ratchet still had that weird grin even with two 'bots to reset. Oh and Blaster's mixed emotions had finally settled into embarrassed.

Eject was practically running on fumes when he finally managed to collapse into the recharge berth. Only the crinkle of paper kept him from shutting down right there. Curious, Eject gave a half roll to look at the piece of paper he had laid on.

When he picked it up though he couldn't help but grin. Printed across the sheet was a comm. frequency and a list of times. It looked like he'd finally be able to talk with Ratbat.

* * *

Reviewer Scores:

**The Most Multitudinous Reviewer**

9aza – I can't believe you reviewed every chapter and not even dorky little one word reviews either but full multi-sentence reviews. Many thanks for your many reviews

**The Best Review(s)**

Madmous for his/her review of chapter 7

"…going to get Starscream giving a lesson in interfacing. I'm sure he was 'asked' to volunteer by Megatron. But who could say 'no' to a friendly wink with the fusion cannon applied directly to ones face." Excerpt.

Yes, you actually inspired the scene. I had never planned to write the Starscream scene, as might be obvious as how choppy it feels to me, but so many people wanted it and with such a great review asking for it how could I not.

AND

Daoi Sidhe for her review of chapter 6

"*falls down cracking up in laughter*  
Ooh...just what every creator needs to walk in on...his creations making amature porn of their siblings." Full quote.

It's always great when the reviewer finds the same parts funny as I did.

And of course thanks to everyone who reviewed. As I'm sure you noticed by all the wheedling, hinting, and downright begging, I like reviews but show me one fanfictioner who doesn't.

**

* * *

**

**Character Scores:** yes I went there...

Megatron:

+10 points – for dealing with this so well

Ravage:

+5 points – for stalking Ramhorn & Steeljaw without anyone realizing

+10 points – for delivering Ratbat's comm. frequency to Eject

Rumble & Frenzy:

-5 points – being less then understanding

+20 points - helping their brother score with his crush

-25 points – deciding to record it

-10 points – for hiding incriminating evidence in their subspace

+5 points – for at least being honest about it

Buzzsaw & Lazerbeak:

-50 points – for interfacing in public

Skywarp:

+5 points – for letting Ratbat tag along

Starscream:

-5 points – for whinning

+10 points – for beint disturbed by the twins interface stories

+10 points – for recognizing the only thing he really needed to teach

Soundwave:

6 x –50 points – for thinking he could keep interfacing from his little spies

-10 points - for thinking he could lock Ratbat in his room until puberty passed

-5 points – for microprint on intelligence reports (Megatron made me score it)

+10 points – pity points for the feinting episode

Eject:

-5 points – for deciding to watch the WC live instead of waiting for the highlights at a decent hour

+10 points - for going along with it

+25 points – helping Ratbat finally figure out what IT was

+25 points – for giving Ratbat a home run

-10 points – for trying to talk during snuggles time

Ratbat:

-5 points – being over smug about available energon

+10 points – discovering masturbation while remaining clueless

+5 points – for going along with it even without knowing what IT was

-5 points – for aggressive love bites that bled

+15 points – letting Eject out of bondage

+50 points – giving Eject a home run, twice

+10 points – bonus points for giving oral even when he was ready to cuddle

+15 points – for overall cuteness

Blaster:

5 x +50 points – for giving his cassettes "The Talk"

+5 points – for letting Eject watch the World Cup

Ratchet:

-50 points – for finding the situation funny instead of being the grumpy medic he's supposed to be.

**THE END**


End file.
